|Posted on February 7, 2011 at 11:24 AM|
Yesterday was not the best day I've ever had. It also wasn't the worst but I guess for the last few months I've been spoiled to quite amazing days. It started when I was offered to be on the Blue Devil's visual staff. I can't even express in words how excited and honored I feel about this opportunity. It'll definitely feel great to be "back home" and be able to give back to the corps that has given me me so much. Then I received the Music City Drum and Bugle Corps drill writing job. Another way that I am just so blessed. I feel so honored to be a part of such another great organization. I have accomplished so much at such an early age. Most people in their 30's and 40's are still waiting got gigs like I already have. (As a side note that also makes me ask the question "why me?")
But yesterday was not one of those days that I felt blessed. I saw something that I have been missing in my life. Something that I have been wanting for the last 7 years. As much as I love "my job" I'm pretty sure that if push came to shove I would give up everything for this one thing that's been missing in my life. But I guess I'm greedy and want my cake and eat it too. haha. Maybe it's time to just focus on me and stop waiting for certain things to happen? Do I move away again and go teach bands in Dallas? Do I stay at home and teach the Alma Mater? These are all things I need to think about and figure out. You know, I have always.... ALWAYS accomplished my goals. I have always done what I set out to do. It may have been years after I started but I did end up doing everything. There is just one thing that I feel slipping away from me. It's not a feeling that I'm used to.
Just like the title of this blog says today is a new day. Everyday we ALL have the opportunity to reevaluate our lives and change whatever we want, where we are going, etc. Is today the day that I start to let go? Quite possibly. It's just always hard to let go of something you have wanted for 7 years. Well if you made it this far I certainly appreciate your listening to my venting. Sometimes it's better just to let it all out to the public and not hold back anything.
Anyway, it's time to put away all those negative feelings and get going on a positive way of life again. That's going to start with a difficult "Insanity" workout. Then hopefully I'll land some more drill design jobs today and go from there. Have a good day!